It happens to the best of us. One wrong turn as you are trying to evade the strafing Z-11 flying above you, and/or the methodic “thump! thump! thump!” of the 30mm canons of the RCB pounding you from the side, and…

It’s like my niece used to say when she was three and would get angry “Ma hate it!” Yes. Stuck in the sand again; sounds like a Country and Western song. And just like a bunch of guys pushing a dead car across a freeway, there on the beach you will often find a huddle of willing targets, desperately ‘meleeing’ the poor RHIB back to its watery home.

But there is a better way, I know, because a BF4 genie came to visit me one time as I was wearing out my thumb on my PS3 controller, trying to get my damn boat back in the water. I’m serious. Out of the clouds, the guy shows up lays down next to the boat, and one swipe and it flew (not an exaggeration) halfway to its mark. In other words, he did with one hit of the blade, what would have taken me at least half a dozen.

The Trick? I call it, the “Paracel Two-Step.” First, lay down towards either the rear or the front, often both if you are all the way aground. Like this

Or, this…

Now, the second step is you want to hit this thing on its nose and ass as far to the tip or end as possible. Figure 5 and 6 give general locations, but you should experiment to find the sweetspot.

What makes this the Trick you will send to your friends is that it works for ALL WATER VESSELS, even the big RCB!

The challenge with getting the RCB off the sand and back in the land of Neptune, is positioning. If you don’t have good positioning, it can be tricky. Once again, a picture says a thousand words…

This works for the Personal Water Craft (PWC) as well but like the RCB, there may be instances when you can’t access the area you want with ease. But, like I said, “experiment.” I guarantee that eventually you will find the magic button that launches your beached whale back into the Ocean Blue, and back into the action.